The 7 Secrets of Really Great Sex

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And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity

We need to be clear with the other person about what we like and don't like, what we want and don't want. Otherwise, we're apt to be frustrated or irritated. Being attracted to each-other doesn't mean that we can read each-other's minds. Expressing our likes and dislikes is part of creating the connection that leads to a more enjoyable sexual experience.

Six , the best sex is a balance between being open to new experiences and true to ourselves. It's great to try new things, or at least consider them, but we're abandoning ourselves if we go along with something that feels wrong. We should never do anything in sex -- including the choice to have sex -- if it doesn't feel like the right thing to do. It's great to be adventurous in sex.

It's one of the few ways that we can abandon ourselves in the moment and let go of our "shoulds" and our inhibitions. The right partner and lots of trust and respect makes this possible.

Still, even with the best partner, we need to heed our inner wisdom and know our limits. Good sex is about respecting our partner and being true to ourselves. Finally , great sex is all about giving and receiving.

1) Most people are kinkier than you think they are.

The best sex involves enjoying both the pleasure our partner is giving us and the fact that we're giving our partner pleasure. Sex that's one-sided is less fun for both partners. That's not to say that on occasion one person can't simply pleasure the other, but that ultimately, in great sex, both people's needs are being met. A happy, fulfilling sex life is available to everyone.

If we simply pay attention to these seven secrets, we'll discover the sexual satisfaction that we've never previously experienced. Get top stories and blog posts emailed to me each day.

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8 Secrets of Married Couples with Great Sex Lives

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